Lightning Struck

 We would all like for life to be hunky dory when we choose to follow Jesus, but life isn’t smooth sailing. The waves of life seem to hit you upside the head and knock you down to the ground. Our dreams of being perfect are dashed to pieces just like a clay pot thrown against a rock wall. 

I was not transformed into Hercules. Instead, life got messy. Like all boys my age, the hormones began to rage war on my soul. When my online English teacher told us that we could watch the movie Romeo and Juliet on YouTube with permission from our parents, I secretly watched it without permission of my parents. The sensuality of one scene drew me in with promises of pleasure, but then left me hanging dry with guilt. To this day, I thank God for parental controls, because when I walked down stairs my Mom confronted me. God used events like this to keep me away from porn.

Though God spared me in this way, I have had my fair share of lustful fantasies. Life was messy and my life did not seem to change. Guilt overwhelmed me and deceived me into thinking that God might strike me with fire.

One Spring night, all hell broke loose outside. Thunder. Lightning. Pounding rain. My window threatened to shatter over my head. I rocked back and forth like a drunk weather vane until i could hold it in no longer. I dragged my dead weight conscious down the stairs, unable to contain my guilt. “Dad,” I said with golf ball sized tears, “I think I need to be baptized again.”

“Ryan,” Dad replied, “Jesus died once for all of your sin. You do not need to be baptized again.”

But I insisted and Dad finally gave in. I was embarrassed to tell my church family though so we had a baptism that was witnessed by my Dad and Mom alone. There was no skipping down the sidewalk after my second baptism. I felt the same as before.

While Dad was upstairs fixing a light switch, he had a heart to heart with me. “Ryan, it really is true that Jesus died once for all your sins. Some people go out and are baptized every year, but that is not a sign that the first baptism did not work. There is nothing magical in the water. What really matters is trusting Jesus. You are just going to have trust that Jesus has done what He said He would do. He has forgiven you of all your sin, the past, the present and the future.”