New Beginnings

 At the age of three, I scrambled into the kitchen, grasping my shirt. Down my shirt I peered in a panic, “Mommy! Jesus is all gone.”. Dad has told me that Jesus was in my heart, but He was nowhere to be found.

If you can’t see Him or feel Him, He must not be there. This was my concern, but it did not shake my desire to find God. I was taught He existed, therefore I believed He must exist. Not unlike how children assume that Santa Claus is real. Yes, my faith was my parent’s faith, but nonetheless I was convinced that God existed and that He saw everything I did. 

Little mishaps like white lies and swiping cookies jarred my conscience. Our large white mansion seemed to mock the darkness of my heart. I would look at my Dad, an upright preaching minister, and ponder the impossibility of being like him someday. If I just did everything right, then maybe I could please God, my parents and my church.

One day, I was attempting stunts on my scooter with my neighbors. One of my friends joined us saying, “Guess what? I’ve been grounded in my room. Don’t tell my Mom!”

My soul squirmed as I squeaked out, “That’s not right!”

And then it hit me. The guilt that had been weighing me down was not between me and my parents. It was primarily between God and I, a deep chasm that could not be crossed. My relationship with God was broken just like everybody else...

I now knew that I needed Jesus in my heart. Dad and I had a long conversation about Jesus that day. About God becoming human like us, His death, His burial and His resurrection. And in Him my death, my burial and my resurrection. Dad then asked me, “When do you want to be baptized?” We arranged for Saturday morning and invited all the Grandparents and many in my church family as witnesses.

My Dad had often explained to us kids what baptism was by asking us, “Is there anything magical about the water when you are dunked?”

“No,” we would reply.

“Then what is baptism about?”

“It means that we are dying with Jesus and coming out of the water ready to live a new life with Him! Jesus fills the chasm that separates us from God. He makes it possible to be in relationship with God.”

When I emerged from my watery grave, Jesus became King of my life. I received the gift of the Holy Spirit and I was guilt free! I felt lighter that day than I have ever felt in my life. That is until lightning struck….